The ‘Jason Le Page’ files 3 – Italians and Aliens.

Jason Le Page is a Downhill Mountain Biker who lives on Guernsey (one of the Channel Islands for those of you who may be geographically challenged). I’ve been coaching Jason for the best part of two years now and being a very sporting kind of chap, he has very boldly agreed to ‘Go-Live’ with his progress on a monthly basis as a matter of interest to all of you. Every month you’ll be able to log-on to the TORQ site to see how Jason’s getting on.

Jason writes:

Whallo me ol china plate!

I take it you’re now back on both feet again and maybe even on two wheels?

Probably more surprising for me than you is the fact that I’ve actually been endeavouring to stick to some sort of training and eating plan for more than a month! This is update number 3!

Despite my best intentions I have been let down by the local leisure centre and got brutally abducted by aliens wielding bottles of fine wine and acres of lardy food! First off, the pool got closed down for a couple of weeks due to live electric cables mixing with standing water and creating a rather dangerous situation. Secondly, I had a week or two of social chaos whereby I had to consume gallons of fine wine, crates of Italian lager and bottles of fine port. Thirdly I hosted an Italian Murder Mystery party, which involved cooking heaps of pasta and rich sauces, creating hideously fattening deserts and then eating the leftovers for the rest of the week!!

I did ride my bike once though!

Well, actually I rode my bike quite a bit after my week of overzealous imbibing and troughing! Riding to and from work a few times and several 2-hour rides at weekends has helped me realise my legs don’t work much anymore! Also despite getting better on the trials bike, my handling has deteriorated so much that I’m now phased out by anything bigger than a 4-foot drop!

I also decided to run home from the pub one night (three miles whilst quite drunk!) and managed to kick-start my weekly bout of running again! (after the hangover and pain wore off!) Swimming will be reintroduced when they’ve fixed the electric/water problem!!

Food wise I’m on a regular small meals routine with plenty of fruit and/or ‘Rispino’ snacks, and am trying to drink a couple of litres of water a day.

The bad news is that I didn’t lose much weight; in fact as at the 28th February I stood heavily on the scales at 14stone 3lbs! (So I did lose a little, despite being a lardy goit!) Waist measurements have reduced a little. At the start of the year I could get a pair of 36inch trousers to fit without a belt, now I can wear a pair of 34inch trousers with only minor discomfort! The belt is now used to hold the stomach into the trousers as opposed to stopping the trousers falling!! I think I’m beginning to bulk up with muscle instead of fat, the arms and shoulders of my shirts indicate this. Perhaps this is down to the trials bike! Incidentally can this mass be reduced but the strength retained?

For most of my running exploits and some of my turbo sessions I use a heart rate monitor to keep an eye on what my ticker is doing in comparison to the way I feel (it alleviates turbo boredom sometimes!), and once every so often I measure my resting heart rate. Is there any merit in using this, and in fact, is there much point training with a monitor? Any tips, hints or comments?

Onwards my friend to Thinnersville!

The lard man from Guernsey!



Matt Hart of TORQ replies:

What an honest human being you are Monsieur Le Page. And there was I thinking that you’d lie through your teeth about your recent calorific meanderings, yet you come out bold as brass and blurt it out to the nation (well, to the elite few that flick through these pages anyway). Are you mad! We’ll be ridiculed and laughed at wherever we go from now on – “Oh there goes Matt Hart, coach to the Extraterrestrial scallywag!” We could always join a circus mate?

Well, at least you didn’t put any weight on, so I reckon that you might have been a little bit better behaved than you’re having us believe. Unless of course the aliens performed liposuction! Wait a minute; you don’t want to answer to that. There are far too many people out there that are looking for a quick fat-loss fix and believe me and I’m sure that the residents of Guernsey would prefer they you look elsewhere.

On that note, look no further – Father Hart will now speak “There is no painless quick fix. Weight loss is hard work and it requires commitment, effort, dedication and a positive outlook. If you want to loose weight, do it for the right reasons. Look at the entire package and you’ll succeed. It’s not just about looking slimmer; it’s about looking healthy, feeling confident and energised, and living longer. You can only get all of this if you eat healthily and exercise regularly and that’s it really – I won’t pull the wool over your eyes. Money can’t buy happiness. or fitness.”

Well, that’s the lecture out of the way, now to the questions you asked:

Yep, riding the trusty steed again, but still can’t walk properly (I broke my ankle, for those of you that wonder what on earth is going on).

Don’t worry about the bulging shoulders. Muscle is a living tissue and the more of it you have, the higher your resting metabolism. Basically, this muscle helps you to burn away fat when you’re sitting with your feet up watching telly, or doing other leisurely things. When the fat drops off you’ll have a lovely firm and toned body that won’t be bulging unduly.

In answer to your heart rate conundrum, I’ll be putting an article up on this web site shortly on this subject. I think they’re a good concentration aid, but they can be misread. Use it as on object of interest rather than something to rely on. Your body is a biological mechanism, not a machine, so heart rates do vary on a daily basis and even the clothes you wear and foods you eat will affect it.

Well my slightly less rotund friend, I bid you aurevoir and wish you well on your impending intergalactic voyages. Remember to ask them to return you to circa 2002AD – April would be nice.

If you want to catch up with Jason again next month, tune into this site in about 4 weeks and he ‘may’ have some more banter for us.


Written by Jason Le Page/Matt Hart